


taking a stand to escape what's inside

by talesofbohemia



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-04 01:25:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2904197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesofbohemia/pseuds/talesofbohemia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“No one can escape their destiny, Mordred.” Then slowly, his eyes widened, fury morphing into realization. “Not even you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	taking a stand to escape what's inside

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this right after the finale aired (I was a mess and this was my fix-it idea) but I only just found it in my drafts. Maybe there'll still be some interest? Takes place before Kara's execution.
> 
> Title comes from the song "Monster" by Imagine Dragons. Unbetaed.

“You cannot honestly tell me that you wouldn’t do the same for the woman you love!” Mordred said disbelievingly.

“I KNOW MY DUTY!” Merlin bellowed, startling Mordred into silence. “Do not think that you are the only man to lose someone,” he said lowly.

“Merlin,” Mordred started, eyes wide, “Merlin, I didn’t-”

“Do you want to know what happened?” Merlin asked almost laughing, staring down into space. “She died. I was going to leave with her, and she died. I have my destiny, and she was an obstacle, and so she died. So I had no option.”  He squeezed his eyes shut. “No option but to stay,” he said softly.

“How did she die?” Mordred asked after a moment. When Merlin gave no answer, the knight’s eyes hardened. “Arthur killed her, didn’t he? _Didn’t he_?” he said angrily.

When Merlin still didn’t answer, Mordred growled. “Then how can you defend him? How can you be _loyal_ to him?”

Merlin eyes shot open. “Because it is my duty,” he bit back. “No one can escape their destiny, Mordred.” Then slowly, his eyes widened, fury morphing into realization. “Not even you.”

“What?” Mordred asked, too confused by Merlin’s expression to give an angry retort. “What’s wrong?”

Merlin didn’t answer. He just turned, eyes still wide, and headed down the corridor.

Mordred stared after the servant’s retreating figure for a moment before hurrying to follow him.  “Where are you going? What’s going on?” he asked when he caught up to the other man.

Merlin didn’t answer, and he continued down the passage.  Mordred followed him, intent on getting answers.

They reached the physician’s chambers, and Mordred followed Merlin in, standing just inside the door.  Merlin stood straight, in the middle of the room, with his hands on his hips, his back to Mordred.  They stood that way for a while, and just when Mordred was about to speak again, Merlin whipped around. “Maybe you can,” he said staring off still not looking at Mordred.

“Maybe you can what?” Mordred asked, entirely confused by Merlin’s behavior.

“Yes, maybe you can,” Merlin said, his voice shaking. “I mean, I loved her, I really did, but that’s not what I wanted, not really. I was just happy I didn’t have to hide when I was with her. Going away was an old fantasy from when I was a child. It wasn’t real. And even if it had worked, if we had gone, I would have come back. I wouldn’t have stayed because I know my duty. And I wouldn’t have wanted to stay. I know my place is at Arthur’s side.”

Mordred was following what Merlin said as best as he could, but he still didn’t know what the servant was getting at. He hadn’t seen the man this jittery since he arrived in Camelot, even when Merlin was faking being an idiot in front of Arthur.

Suddenly, Merlin looked at him. “Maybe, maybe if it’s what you want, what you _truly_ want, maybe you _can_ control it.”

He stared at Merlin for a moment before saying, “Merlin, I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“ _Destiny_ ,” Merlin answered. “Maybe you can control your destiny.”

Mordred stared back at him blankly, not sure what to make of the warlock’s statement.

“Mordred,” Merlin said suddenly, stepping towards him. “I have known something about you since you were young, since we first met. I have known your destiny.”

Mordred looked at him, unsure of what to make of this, but a thought hit him. “It’s the reason you don’t trust me isn’t it? It’s the reason you didn’t help me all those years ago.”

Merlin nodded, looking grave. “When we first met, after I promised to help you, I was told of your destiny. And I was advised to let you die.”

Mordred forced himself to remain calm. “But you didn’t. You helped me.”

Merlin nodded again. “I _couldn’t_. I couldn’t let you die. You were so young and so innocent and I couldn’t believe the things I was told. And I helped you. And that decision has haunted me ever since.”

Mordred couldn’t keep the shaking out of his voice. “What? What do I do?” Merlin only stared at him. “Merlin, _what do I do?_ ”

“Do you trust Arthur?” Merlin asked suddenly.

Mordred stared at him in confusion. “What-”

“ _Do you trust him?_ You call him friend. Do you trust him?”

At first, he thought about Kara, and how he knew that she would die soon. He was so angry and full of the desire for revenge of an act that hadn’t yet even been committed.  But then Mordred thought about when they had first met, about how Arthur had defied his father to help him. And then the brief time they had met again in the forest. And then meeting him all these years later, and being knighted. Of the friendship that had grown past year, that he never thought he’d have to chance to have. To be accepted. And somehow, he knew that he had proved his loyalty enough to be sure that Arthur would trust him still, even with his magic. And how he knew Arthur wasn’t his father.

He looked back up at Merlin. “Yes,” he said. “I do.”

Merlin looked at him, as if to try to find a hint of a lie.

“I trust him, Merlin. And- and I trust you. Now tell me, _what do I do?_ ”

Merlin stared at him a moment longer, and then let out a sigh. “You kill him.”

There was a rushing in his ears and he was certain he’d misheard the warlock. “What?” he said, trembling.

“You kill him, Mordred,” Merlin answered with a hard voice.

“No,” he said, shaking his head and backing away, “no, that can’t be true.”

“It is true. You kill Arthur in battle and bring about the end of Camelot’s age of prosperity and peace. And, apparently, all over the threat of a childhood friend.”

He thought of Kara. He thought of her laugh and her smile and her desire for freedom for people with magic, and how much he wanted to have that life with her. But all this was overshadowed by the phantom feeling of a sword in his hand stabbing through mail and slicing through the body of Arthur Pendragon. His friend.

“No,” he said quietly, and then again more fiercely as he stepped towards Merlin, “no. I can’t. I wouldn’t. _I won’t._ ”

Merlin watched him for a moment, then smiled. “I was hoping you’d say that.”


End file.
